


212. dead birds

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [179]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Christmas Presents, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 07:58:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9063286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: “I got you something,” Helena says.





	

The Christmas party is winding down – Alison is dragging an eggnog-giggling Donnie back home, Cosima and Delphine haven’t left the hallway with the mistletoe in it for ages, Sarah can hear Siobhan humming from the kitchen – when Helena finds her. She’s wearing a lumpy sweater that looks Alison-knitted, and a hat that looks likewise. Also: three pairs of socks. Helena is the only person Sarah’s met who seems sincerely and sweetly delighted to get socks for Christmas.

(One of those pairs was from Sarah, so she knows firsthand.)

“Hey, meathead,” she says. “You have a good Christmas?”

“I got you something,” Helena says, and that’s when Sarah realizes that her hands are folded behind her back. Sarah shifts a little in her chair; it’s out of nerves, mostly. What’s it going to be, sugar packets? A lump of deer meat? A knife?

“Oh, Helena, you didn’t have to do that,” she tries. “We’re happy just to have you here, yeah? No one was expectin’ anything.”

“I know,” Helena says, shifting from foot to foot. “ _Sestra_ Alison said letting them stay was enough of a present, and that I should not get them anything else, and I did not know who else to get presents for, but I wanted to get this for you. Because – because.” She’s full-on rocking now. She looks about as nervous as Sarah feels.

“Okay,” she says helplessly, and Helena says “Hold out your hands.”

 _Oh_ god. Sarah does. With great care Helena pulls her cupped hands out from behind her back and presses something very gently into Sarah’s palms.

It’s a bird skull. It’s very small; it fits neatly in Sarah’s palm, the bones of it still warm from Helena’s hands. The beak is stained soot-black, like it started burning and then gave up.

“Oh,” Sarah says, and the word comes out of her mouth like blown glass.

“ _Sokil_ ,” Helena says. “Hunt-bird. I see them flying, sometimes, very far, very fast. Wanderbirds. This one fell asleep in the snow, so I cleaned it, and it made me think of you.” She gnaws on her lip and keeps rocking a little bit. Her hands, empty of bones, are picking at each other anxiously. “They are very beautiful. When they fly. I think about you. When I see them.”

Sarah can’t stop turning the skull over and over in her hands. The bone is smooth. This was a living thing, and now it’s nothing but an object she can hold. She has no idea how Helena made that transformation – it’s woods-magic, of a kind Sarah doesn’t know. Her heart aches. Helena saw a bird in the woods and thought: _Sarah has to see this. Sarah has to hold this in her hands._

“Thank you,” she says, only she realizes – to her horror – that it comes out as a croak. “Shit, sorry.” She blinks rapidly until her eyes stop misting. “It’s – really nice, Helena, thanks for it.”

“It’s okay if you don’t like it,” Helena says. “I can take it back. To the woods. With the others.”

In answer to that Sarah puts the skull down on the arm of the chair, stands up, and hugs her. Helena is a sweater-warm weight in her arms; almost as soon as Sarah has wrapped her arms around Helena she’s hugging Sarah back. Sarah can hear Helena’s breaths, a little unsteady. She just keeps holding her.

“I love it,” Sarah says quietly. “I love – it’s great, Helena, it’s beautiful.”

Helena swallows, an audible sound, and tucks her chin into the space between Sarah’s neck and shoulder. “Happy Christmas, _sestra_ ,” she says.

“Merry Christmas, Helena,” Sarah says. She doesn’t let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please kudos + comment if you enjoyed! :)
> 
> (It's a peregrine falcon skull, by the way. I'm pretty sure those are endangered in Canada. EVERYBODY KEEP HELENA'S SECRET, PLEASE)


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